Chemo Round 6

It's my last round of chemo before I deliver. Amara is in town so she takes me. She's never been to Tower or the treatment center and she can't believe how big it is. There's a chair shortage again, so I begin treatment in a private room but don't wait long for my chair. There's no drama, just treatment. The only drama comes from Boris and lunch. When he left for work in the morning, he said I should pick any restaurant I wanted to get lunch from and he'd bring it to Tower for us. Amara and I decide we want chop salads from La Scala (sans salami) and I inform Boris. Boris however decides that parking is kindof a pain in the ass but passively aggressively asks me if I'm sure that's what I want to eat. Um, yes, I'm sure which is why I asked for it, but I don't care enough so we order Chin Chin which can be delivered. Then Boris doesn't show up until 2:00pm. Oh Boris.

I only have 2 questions. One for Anne and one for the nutritionist. My hair has started to grow back and I'm scared it's a sign that the chemo isn't working. I ask Anne. She assures me my hair growth has no bearing on the efficacy of the chemo and tells me that for some reason, lots of women's hair starts to grow back before their last round. She also assures me that it will fall out again as soon as cycle 2 of chemo starts, so I shouldn't get too excited. Rude. I speak to the nutritionist about my break. I want to know if I should start my cancer prevention diet (i.e., broccoli for breakfast, lunch and dinner). She tells me to keep eating as much protein as possible. "You're preparing your body for surgery and more chemo and we want your baby to get as big and strong and possible." So I can still eat In n' Out. Phew.

Before I know it, I feel like shit and am done. Done for 7 whole weeks. As happy as I am (and I am, I am!) I'm afraid that the cancer will come back or get smarter and stronger during my break -- the way that an infection does if you don't take all of your antibiotics. I may feel better and start sprouting hair, but maybe I'm developing some sort of cancer super strain. Anne says it's totally normal to feel afraid but reminds me that I'm in the best hands and they wouldn't have told me it's safe to have a break from chemo if they knew that it wasn't. So, that's it. Now I'm just a pregnant person waiting to deliver. A bald, pregnant person who still is afraid of dying every day, but no more treatment or feeling like crap for 7 weeks. 7 weeks!! And I get to meet my Miracle Warrior so soon. February 17 can't get here fast enough. I want to know for sure that he's perfect and normal and healthy.

Before we leave, several Tower staff members and volunteers come by to wish me a happy new year. Some ask what I'm doing to ring in the new year. I don't want to be rude or anything, but I'm getting chemo the day before, so what the hell do they think I'm doing? Dumbest question ever?

6 rounds down. Delivery, 12 rounds of chemo, double mastectomy, radiation, reconstruction to go.